Breaking Point

My husband is active duty in the Army Reserves.  We have only made two moves during that time.  One move was from Southeastern North Carolina to southwestern Pennsylvania.  Then the last move was from southeastern Pennsylvania to north central Pennsylvania.  One would think moving across several state lines would have been much more stressful than moving about 3 hours. However, that is not the case.

This time last year, we were in the middle of preparing for a move.  Things did not go smoothly.  We had a horrible time finding a house to rent.  But God finally provided one (although it was not the house I pictured nor a price I pictured per month).  Then the military lost our paperwork for scheduling our move.  So this delayed our move by almost a month.  

Then moving time came and the stress level went through the roof.  We were not given the same weight limit.  We had about 2/3 of an 18 wheeler filled when we moved from Carolina.  But the truck driver here said our goods would not fit in his full 18 wheeler with no other goods.  So we had to keep fighting that.  We had numerous money issues associated with the move.  Things just kept piling up on us.  We had not been able to rent or sell our home where we were living.  So that compounded our financial stress.  Then my husband did one drill with his new unit, while I tried to get us settled and get a brand new family readiness group off the ground.  Well, God has a sense of humor as far as timing goes.  I know this because almost 17 years ago, we had our first son.  Two weeks to the day of his birth Hurricane Bertha paid a visit to eastern NC.  I worked as an office manager for an insurance agent.  He did not find a really suitable replacement.  So my boss called me to come in and help.  So trust me when I say I understand the devastation that hurricanes bring.  

My husband is Army Reserves full time and his area of training is water purification.  So when Hurricane Sandy came calling in New York and left devastation behind, my husband's unit was activated to assist with the mission.  The unit was the first Army Reserve unit activated for an in-country natural disaster.  So my stress level went through the roof.  I had four children, my mother, no family readiness group, no church and no real friends for support to speak of.  Plus I have chronic hypertension that was diagnosed almost 20 years ago (I was 24).  As a result of everything coming at once, my blood pressure went through the roof.  I had chest pains and all sorts of fun things.

On top of my issues, my oldest son has had digestive issues for over 7 years.  However, we never were able to get a diagnosis. This same son has a terrible time with his dad being gone.  So needless to say his stomach went crazy.  

All of this brought me to my breaking point.  Now I have to say I have a Yankee-German temper that can get the best of me.  I genuinely love my husband and love being with him.  I also genuinely consider him to be my best friend, the one great love of my life and so forth.  Well, for him to be unable to stay in touch really tore me up inside.  I felt like God had abandoned me.  I truly felt alone in the world.  Everything came crashing down.  I reached the end of my rope.

When things are at the darkest and I felt like there was no one to lean on or help me, God reached out through my husband and touched me.  I learned to rely on Him and trust there was a purpose for all that we had went through.  He lifted me and drew me in, although I needed to step out in faith towards Him.  It reminds me now of when Jesus told Peter to walk toward Him on the water.  But Peter failed when he lost his faith.  So I had to have my faith in God restored.  

About this time, my husband returned and we started to attempt to begin our new life in our new location.  One of those steps of course was finding a church.  I had seen a church online that I wanted to try, so we did that.  We found it to be a fairly good fit for our family.  Then another thing happened - my husband prior to going full-time in the Army Reserves was a reservist.  Prior to us even knowing each other, he also did 4 years in the Air Force.  So all this time added together to allow him to receive his 20 year letter during December.  He could retire as a reservist, but we would not draw retirement until he reached the legal age for retirement.  So we would have to find another source of income.

Well God stepped in and provided my husband with an individual who had a possible new career for us to explore.  So we stepped out in faith and began exploring this new career path.  We are not sure where God is leading us in this adventure (meaning we are not sure what doors God is going to open or close for us).  But He definitely has restored my faith, my closeness to Himself and my husband and caused me to reach inside and find a depth of faith I did not know I had.  That is not to say that everything is perfect now.  But at least I know I reached my breaking point and God was there to put the pieces back together again.  My husband supported and loved me through it all as well.  I am truly blessed to have the family God gave me.