Well this week sure has been a rollercoaster. One week ago today, Dennis and his unit activated for the hurricane relief effort. One week ago today, I really began to notice changes in my health. We know Dennis and his group should be back by the 2nd of December, but boy would I love it if they got to come home sooner. I really need him here right now.
Getting back to health situation, having had chronic high blood pressure for almost 20 years now, I know the feelings that indicate my bp is up. So with all the stress from our move I knew back in September my bp was up and I was right because Dennis and I went to our new doctor together. I went first and we explained my dislike of going to the doctors. He was rather concerned after that. But he was fantastic. I really have to say I was pleased. Rather than start me on meds right away, he wanted me to monitor bp. So off we went.
This week I had those feelings in spades. I took it several times and it was running between the 180s to well over 200 over numbers ranging in the 120s to the 130s. These are scary numbers. I was having some blurry vision, headaches and so forth - again not good things.
So I finally went to the dr (did I mention I don't like going to doctors and am deathly afraid of needles - because if I haven't mentioned it - I really really really don't like going to doctors and am really truly completely deathly afraid of needles. Just walking into a doctor's office can raise my blood pressure. And I really hate going alone (need Dennis there with me).
I had the sweetest nurse, she was fantastic. When she asked me what I was being seen for, I told her I could tell my blood pressure was high and that I had been monitoring it at home. I also explained all the stresses I was under with just moving, no real support system here yet, and Dennis activated for an unknown period of time. Bp was in the 180s over 120s range. So dr. came in and reviewed my information and everything (after all this was only the second time I had been in there - so can't expect him to remember everything) Did I mention I checked in and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before the nurse took me back?
The doctor came in, looked over everything, talked to me, checked me out by checking my breathing and heart sounds. Then he checked my eyes because I have been having some blurry vision and headaches. The next thing I know he is telling me I need an EKG done. So he goes ad gets the nurse to do that. Out in the hall, I can hear him telling her and one of the nurses about my feelings/fears/dislikes of doctors and for them to take really good care of me. So my nurse comes back in with the machine and explains what she is going to do. She explains the longest part is hooking me up to the machine. So we complete the test. Then the doctor comes in and looks at it. The three monitors that were actually testing the heart were not normal. In fact they essentially where the opposite of what they should have been. There were dips going up and down instead of being the way they should. He then informs me I need to have something called a holter test done (24 hours of being hooked up to a machine that records my heart). Then I need to have an echocardiogram looking for damage/blockage/general health of my heart. Plus I need to see a cardiologist.
Wait a minute, hold everything - cardiologist, tests, can this wait until Dennis gets back. The doctor tells me no, we need to at least start the tests. so this Tuesday I go for the holter test. The following Tuesday I go in for the echocardiogram (did I say I really want Dennis home for this particular test). I don't know what if anything will be said at the appointment). Then the Tuesday after Thanksgiving I have a followup with my regular dr to see how my bp is doing with the bp meds and I don't know if anything will be said about the tests then or not. Because on December 18, I have an appointment with a cardiologist (did I mention I really am terrified of needles, tend to almost pass out when blood is drawn and just generally don't want to go see drs.
In the midst of all this Dennis is with his unit in New York City pumping water, attending meetings and doing his job.
I have everyone telling me it will be alright, don't be stressed, stay calm, God is in control and so forth.
Well I know God is in control, but I am not ready to face whatever may come from this. Of course, part of that is that we don't know what we are actually facing. The unknown is the really hard part right now along with not having Dennis here to lean on, to cry on and to pray with. When you have a best friend for over 20 years, and all of a sudden you are put in trials and that friend is not where you can talk to them, laugh with them, cry with them and so forth, it makes things that much more difficult especially when everything is so stressful to begin with.
Also during all this our oldest is has basically been sick since we left his dad at the unit after the four children finished young marines. So that does not help things, since there really is nothing I can do to bring him comfort or relief. He has people giving him a hard time for being sick and staying in bed (in the form of siblings). So that adds to fuel to the furnace.
On a good note though, I am part of an online group called MOMYS. I reached out to them requesting prayer for our family, the unit and the mission. And several reached back - most by emai. But one very special lady, who lives in my area (well within about 30 minutes anyhow, sent a message to me saying she would like to reach out to us and have a get together. She even drove to see us. So yesterday afternoon my new friend and her five children came over. And we had a fantastic time. Everyone got along. Everyone had fun and for a couple of hours I got to focus on something other than what was going on here at home.
So I think this is long enough for now.
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